Famous Quotes from ...

\nSteven Wright



    Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

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    I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

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    I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

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    Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

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    I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

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    I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

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    I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

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    I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.

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    A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

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    I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

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    I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

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