Famous Quotes from ...

Dave Barry



    It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

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    The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

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    Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

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    Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

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    Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.

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    The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

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    Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

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    I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.

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    The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

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    Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

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    The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the life of an infant or catching a fly ball, a woman will automatically choose to save the infant, without even considering if there's a man on base.

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    What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.

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    Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result of being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting.

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    Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

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    The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.

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    The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.

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