Famous Quotes from ...

Johnny Carson



    If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

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    If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

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    If variety if the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam

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    I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.

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    The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money

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