Famous Quotes from ...

Woody Allen



    I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

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    I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

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    If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

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    Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

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    I am two with nature.

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    I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

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    Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

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    Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

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    Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

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    Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

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    There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

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    Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

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    Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.

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    I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics

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    I'm a timid person-I was beaten up by Quakers

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    We were married by a reformed rabi in Long Island. A very reformed rabi, a Nazi.

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    The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife -- a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held

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    My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.

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    In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

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    I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.

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