Famous Quotes from ...

Emo Philips



    How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

    view

    I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.

    view

    I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

    view

    My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

    view

    A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

    view

    When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

    view

    I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.

    view

    I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks.

    view