Famous Quotes from ...

Groucho Marx



    A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

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    Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

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    I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

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    Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

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    Humor is reason gone mad.

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    Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

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    She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

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    A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

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    I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

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    I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

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    In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

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    Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

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    Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

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    I intend to live forever, or die trying.

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    She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

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    Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money wont make you happy and this is undeniably true, but everything else being equal, its a lovely thing to have around the house.

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    Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women

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    Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.

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    Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put `Emily, I love you' on the back of the bill.

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    Blood's not thicker than money

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    I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.

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    I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.

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    Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

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    I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

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