- These events have been both devastating and emotionally disturbing ... As a family we've discussed these matters, and we just simply don't have any idea why or how this happened. We simply don't have any answers. But most importantly, we want Toby to know that we're her family, we love her, we miss you, we want you to come home safely. So Toby, if you hear this, please, please come home.... James Phalen {view}